Hi, I'm a Derpy And Me am Grimlock
by Neon Genesis Guyver III
Summary: Inspired by cornholio4 and ItsJustSomeRandomGuy. Derpy meets Grimlock and the two discuss their less-than-flattering reputations.


Disclaimer: I don't own MLP or Transformers. I'd have to own Hasbro to do that. If I did, I wouldn't be posting this on a fan fiction site. You'd be seeing it on the Hub, maybe as a bumper during commercial breaks. Point is. I clearly don't own Hasbro. I'm admitting it, so I won't get sued. Good? Good. On with the fanfic.

AN. Props to cornholio4 for inspiring this.

Hi, I'm a Derpy; And Me am a Grimlock

(Derpy stands before the camera.)

Derpy: Hi Everypony out there on the Internet! I'm a Pony!

(Grimlock steps up in Dino-mode, transforms and bends down beside her.)

Grimlock: Grrr. And me Grimlock am Transformer.

Derpy: I'm Derpy Hooves, a fan-character pony and the most popular background pony in My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!

Grimlock: Me Grimlock am leader of Dinobots, most powerful Autobots, and one of most popular Transformers in whole Franchise!

Derpy: Gee, that's really nifty! You're certainly an important character. I wonder why we got paired together?

Grimlock: Me Grimlock have nagging suspicion.

(Pause. Derpy's eyes widen as she gets the point and bows her head sadly.)

Derpy: (sadly) Oh… I get it.

Grimlock: Rrrrrrr! Stupid writers! Me Grimlock not believe this! Me Grimlock get paired with cross-eyed pony because of way me Grimlock speak! This insult!

Derpy: (Derpy just groans sadly).

Grimlock: Me Grimlock know! People think me Grimlock stupid! Think me Grimlock joke! (mockingly) "Oh, look at him Grimlock. He no can talk right. He am moron." Me Grimlock BITE HEAD OFF! Me Grimlock not stupid! Shockwave make me Grimlock Strong by messing with brain! Me Grimlock smart! Me Grimlock smart! Me Grimlock call agent! Me want sue!

Derpy: (sob, sob)

(Grimlock turns to Derpy).

Grimlock: What Pony problem?

(Derpy is now visibly crying.)

Grimlock: (with concern) Why pony crying?

Derpy: (through sobs) This is soooo embarrassing! I'm not an idiot! I'm not! I'm not! I'm so sick of everypony making fun of me! It's not my fault I have bad eyes. The animators made an error when they made me and they left it as a shout-out to the fans. I'm just a running gag! (Sobs louder)

Grimlock: (groans) Please no cry pony. Me Grimlock hate crying. It make Grimlock feel sad. Me Grimlock hate feeling sad.

Derpy: (Sniff) I know. (hic) I'm sorry. It's just… It's so hard. I'm a single mother working my hindquarters off every day to make a good life for my little muffin. It's not easy when you can barely see. It's even worse when everypony treats me like I'm some kind of mentally handicapped moron! I'm not! I may not be the smartest pony, but I'm not dumb. I'm a high school grad. That's more than that jerk Rainbow Dash can say!

Grimlock: Me am sorry. Me know how hard it be, not being treated like normal just because you different. It maddening.

Derpy: Sometimes I wonder if it's all worth it.

Grimlock: Me too.

(Derpy looks at him in surprise)

Derpy: But… You always seem so confident. How do you deal with it?

Grimlock: Well, when me feel low, other Dinobots cheer me up. Swoop always make funny comment. Slag and me arm wrestle for fun. Snarl always have supporting word. Me team make me strong. Me team best of all Autobots. Optimus Prime also say he trust me, even though me have been disloyal. That make me proud. Proud be Autobot.

Derpy: I see. It sounds like you have good friends.

Grimlock: You have friends too?

Derpy: Well… Yeah! There's Carrot Top, she's been my best friend for years. Then there's Lyra and Bon Bon. And Octavia and Vinyl, they're my friends too. And of course there's my daughter, Dinky. (smiles) She just brings me so much joy. And also… (blushes).

Grimlock: What?

Derpy: Well… oh couldn't say it.

Grimlock: Come on. Me Grimlock your friend too.

Derpy: (Surprised) You really want to be my friend?

Grimlock: Sure. We underappreciated characters stick together.

Derpy: Gee, thank you Grimlock.

Grimlock: Don't get mushy. Me Grimlock not comfortable with mushy.

Derpy: Oh, sorry.

Grimlock: 'sawright. Now, who other pony friend that make you tongue tie?

Derpy: Well… there's this one colt…

Grimlock: Ah! Romance. Me Grimlock savvy.

Derpy: No! It's not… I mean… I'd like it to be…

Grimlock: It okay. Me Grimlock listening. Tell me.

Derpy: Well, I've only known him for a while. We travel together sometimes. He's kind of weird, but he's really nice. He always tries to help everypony he can. He can be very sad and lonely sometimes. But I think, since he's met me, I've helped him get over some of that. He actually stays in one place now rather than traveling randomly. I think, for the first time, he feels at home. I'd really like it if it stayed that way.

Grimlock: It sound like you like him a lot. What his name?

Derpy: Oh, he's called…

(Doctor Whooves enters)

Doctor: Derpy! There you are.

Derpy: Doctor!

Grimlock: (confused) Doctor?

Doctor: Grimlock?

Derpy: You know him?

Doctor: Well, fancy that! It's you! I haven't seen you in ages, not since I helped you and yours get to Earth to join the other Autobots.

Grimlock: Doctor Who? That you?

Doctor: Yes, and I told you, it's just the Doctor. You don't have to add the "Who."

Grimlock: Me no believe it! What you doing in pony universe?

Doctor: Oh, the usual. Saving worlds, fighting aliens, being rather splendid. Oh, and I guess you've met my newest companion, Miss. Hooves.

Grimlock: Yeah1 She just telling me how she have HUGE…

(Derpy coughs and makes a slashing motion across her neck. Grimlock catches it.)

Grimlock: …Huge… Fun! Huge Fun travel with Doctor. Make Grimlock jealous of fun adventures.

Doctor: Oh, well that's nice. I'm glad to know Derpy loves our travels as much as I do. Oh! Speaking of, I'm actually glad I ran into you, Grim-ol'-boy. Seems there's a Sontaran battle fleet approaching Equestria. At least, I think it's a Sontaran fleet. Given how this universe operates, they might call themselves something else.

Derpy: Is that bad?

Doctor: The Sontarans of my universe were a warmongering race who tried to dominate everything in their path. They might be a little nicer here, but I'm not counting on it. Normally I hate resorting to violence, but if it comes to that, I know Grimlock won't mind.

Grimlock: YES! Me have been so bored waiting for action! Me want fight! What Sontarans like?

Doctor: Well, in our universe they look kind of like baked potatoes in blue space-suits. I don't imagine they'll be all that different. Probably walk on all fours. Oh, and they don't fear death in battle, that's something they'll be keen to point out.

(Grimlock transforms into dino-mode)

Grimlock: Me think me can make them change their minds.

Doctor: (smiling) Right then. Sontarans running from a metal dinosaur. That ought to be entertaining. Come along, Miss. Hooves, Mr. Lock.

(All start to exit)

Derpy: Doctor. How will Grimlock fit in the Tardis' door?

Doctor: Oh, we let him in through the back door.

Derpy: There's a Back Door?!

Grimlock: Can we make stop? Me Grimlock want stop by blacksmith. Get teeth sharpened.

Doctor: Don't make me reconsider bringing you.

(There was a large explosion in the night sky. Even Luna herself had no idea what had happened. Grimlock went home with many souvenir Sontaran helmets.)

The End

Epilogue:

Grimlock: Hey, Doctor Who.

Doctor: Yes, Grimlock?

Grimlock: Me meant to say, nice bowtie.

Doctor: (proudly adjusts tie) Oh. Well thank you. Bowties are cool.

Grimlock: Me Grimlock agree. Bowtie cool.

Doctor: You know, I think I may have one in your size in the Tardis.

Grimlock: Yay! Me Grimlock look suave in battle; attract femmes. Maybe ask Arcee on date.


End file.
